Rules From Men

Got this off somewhere:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping

haha, i like!
posted by Mathiaus at 10:27 AM

God, i just wrote this really inspiring entry and it didn't show up.

...

Praise the Lord.

oh its there! Praise the Lord! =)
posted by Mathiaus at 3:51 AM

my shout
don't ask me why. am so excited that results are coming in less than 12 hours. izzit God? i don't know.

where's all the angst that's supposed to be there? is there any point in worrying at all?! why toss and turn when nothing will change what's already been done.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. yipee.

Singapore's system, education of the youths. first and foremost. Why? that's how we're built. that's all. life shouldn't get cold. God is there. He's always there. with every failed plan comes a better plan. remember that

doing well or not? does it really matter, what matters is that you don't lose your spirit/attitude/fighting will. inside you. why be resigned to whatever fate throws at you. the world might be against you but that doesn't mean that you can't do anything about it. things don't change, people don't change, circumstances don't change. we change. think about it. when we change, then our perspectives change, then its us looking at the same thing in a totally new light.

why be angry/hateful/cynical at all when it doesn't help. why build a wall around yourself afraid that other people might tear you down at the hint of the slightest weakness. why freeze over your heart so that it no longer feels the simple joys of sunlight upon your hair or cool wind that plays across the skin. why?

i want to write a book. really i do.

i have found religion. i have found God. may the peace of God be with you. and also with you always. Amen.
posted by Mathiaus at 3:47 AM